It's Official - A New Year!

After almost twelve months of unquestioned power and authority, 2004 finally admitted defeat. “There’s just no arguing with the figures.” An observer told our reporter. “The overwhelming majority of the public are ready for a change and they are happy to embrace the concept of a totally different year.”

Supporters of 2005 celebrated as news trickled through that 2004 had telephoned earlier to concede defeat. Making a brief appearance to thank hard working and faithful supporters, 2004 stressed the need for healing old wounds and working with the pro-2005 camp in a spirit of cooperation.

“This has been a hard fought campaign, and at times it has been very personal and confrontational.” 2004 told the disappointed faithful. “But now the time for division is over. I think we should concentrate on what unites us rather than the slight differences between us.”

Supporters of 2005 had indeed focused on the negative aspects of 2004, citing a wide range of natural disasters, broken treaties, natural disasters and warfare. “That’s just typical of the sort of underhanded whining we’ve come to expect.” 2004 responded. “The vast majority of these issues were inherited from 2003. I think if you look at our record in its full context and include such events as the Olympic Games in Athens and the new Band Aid single, you’ll see that the year has much to be proud of.”

Supporters of 2004 are said to be shocked and stunned by the sudden reversal of fortune. “We thought we were good for another dozen months at least.” One insider remarked earlier. “Perhaps we’d become a little out of touch, but we had no idea that there were so many people who were looking for a change. According to all the exit poles in the last six months we had good reason to believe that very few people had given the idea of a replacement year any serious thought.”

There will, of course, be certain areas that will refuse to accept the new year even after the official handover, which is scheduled for one second past midnight on January the first. Many areas of Germany are still very much rooted in 1989, while a significant number of the United States of America are refusing to acknowledge the validity of any year more recent than 1958.

More news as it breaks.