Entertainment (?) News.

Top American con artist David Blaine has announced that he will be spending the next three weeks up his own arsehole.

“It’s not about publicity.” He told our reporters. “This is a quest to find my inner self. And explore my deepest longings.” He then went on to publicly soil himself and shove a wax crayon up his nose.

Blaine shot to fame after spending several weeks in isolation at the top of a flag pole, buried in ice, and at the Liberal Democrats annual conference. He was jeered and heckled in London, although he expects a warmer reception in New York.

“Most Americans haven’t worked out what a total prick he is.” One of his brain doubles informed us. “But then again they re-elected George Bush, so go figure.”

Round the cock live coverage of David weighing anchor in poo bay continues on Sky One.