Leaving Westminster

”So Cain went out from the LORD's presence and lived in the land of Nod, east of Eden.” (Genesis 4)

DID YOU KNOW THAT I’ve actually been east of Eden? There’s a spot in Iraq where the Tigris, the Euphrates and the Shatt Al Arab converge, and it’s that spot which is evidently where it all started. I’ve got a photograph of myself standing among land mines and unexploded shells, checking my compass to confirm that, yes, Eden is just to my west. I’ve even got the place saved as a waypoint in my GPS. I wonder how many other people can tell you how many miles from the Garden of Eden they are right now.

Well. For those of you who don’t know, the land of Nod is what the Hebrews referred to as “wandering”. The idea is that ever since we turned our backs on the grace of God, we’ve been wandering ever since. But it’s part of what makes us human. The urge a teenager feels to rebel against his parents is just nature’s way of telling him to build his own nest. The urge that made man first walk out of Africa is the same urge to achieve that took us to the moon and will one day take us as far as we can see. Why should I be any different?

When people here ask me where I’m going, I just say, “up north”. Then they ask me what I’m going to do when I get there, and I tell them I’m going to look for a job. You can see the puzzlement on their faces. “How can he possibly be leaving this job when he doesn’t have another to go to?” it’s a fair question. It must seem to the outsider that I’m leaving the safety and security of Westminster to go off into the wilderness. It must look like lunacy to turn down a perfectly good wage and head off into potential poverty just when things are looking up for me.

Maybe I just don’t like being tied down? Maybe I enjoy the adventure? Maybe I’m a bit of a drifter?

But that’s not it at all. It’s just that I’ve tried wandering and I didn’t like it.

I’m tired and it’s time to come home.

Thanks for being there for me, world, but if it’s all the same to you I think I might just settle down with this good hearted partner of mine and maybe even put down some roots. I’m sure there’s a lot to be said for a life in the wilderness. I’m sure the sunrises would be striking, and the thrill of turning new corners would be worth the trek, but I’m also sure the nights would be long and cold.

What I really want to do now is be able to wake up and see Karen. What I’d like to be able to do is say goodnight rather than send it as a text message. With any luck I’ll find another job that will pay just-about-enough and all will be well.

Perhaps I might stand more of a chance if I tell the truth on my next application:
”Reason for leaving you last employment:” LOVE.